Friday, May 31, 2013


Summer has finally made it to Ohio! I am so happy! We love it getting dark later, taking walks, going to the playground and of course playing in the water. This is Tommy's slow time at work too. Having a husband on the weekends and at night makes life so much nicer (and easier!)
I feel like I say this so much but I love the stage of life John Thomas is in now. He understands what I am saying, talks in sentences and has his own thoughts. So much fun to watch him experience everything.

John Thomas has locked me out of the house twice now. He goes in shuts the sliding glass door and puts the wooden stick down so you can not slide the door open. First time I convinced him to lift the stick and let me in, second Tommy came home while I was outside and told John Thomas he had been wanting to do the same thing for years :) (both times I was only locked out a couple minutes)

JT inside, Mommy outside

Practicing being like Daddy

One of our favorite things about summer, the playground. 

Walking home from the park

 Summer party at the playground


 Swim lessons with Daddy, makes me nervous! But they both have fun.

This is the only baby item I bought for Francis. No matter how many times I put it up John Thomas always finds it. He loves wearing it around the house.
 Tommy says Francis would like that he wears it so I let him.

Cutting grass

We has friends from Wisconcis visit for memorial day.
 John Thomas loved having so many people at his house to play with!!

Water table fun

boys will be boys........

Favorite Picture!!!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Mother's Day

I am so thankful I am a mother, step mother and I have a wonderful mom. I looked at Mother's Day through different eyes this year. My heart breaks for all the women who want to be a mother but is struggling with fertility, mom's who have had miscarriages, lost children, or who have lost their mom. So thankful of my blessings! Francis was due date was yesterday, it will always be a special day to me.
My step son has been in town so he was able to celebrate with us. John Thomas adores Tommy or as he calls him "brother". He has been glued to him since he got here. It is so cute. If Tommy leaves the room John Thomas runs around the house screaming "Brother" I love it :)
JT had his first swim lesson Saturday. An adult must get in the pool with him so Tommy did his first swim lesson with him. JT loved it! When the lesson was over he kept asking for "more swim"

Sunday I got up early and went to Hot Yoga before church. The message at church really spoke to me. I love it when that happens, you know you are where God wants you to be. The message was about waiting on God's timing and while you wait listen to the lesson God is trying to teach you. Wow. I will be listening and studying his word. After church we had brunch with some good friends. My husband took the boys shopping so I could relax by myself at home. So nice! I thought about cleaning but instead I watched scandal on Netflix. 

My husband really surprised with a very special gift.

and flowers

He also had several pictures of our family printed (I am awful about actually printing pictures) and he had a picture that we had taken 3days before I lost Francis famed. So special. Feeling blessed.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Number Three

Life can be hard. I feel like I am usually a happy, easy going person but these past few months have been tough on my family. Loosing Francis was the hardest thing I have ever faced. I also believe being in Ohio during the winter with very little sun and lots of snow made it even harder for me. I am a summer person!
We have had a few other smaller obstacles or maybe I should say dreams I wanted to come true but did not. But we made it through winter, spring is here and we found out I was pregnant!
 I cried. I was excited and nervous. My husband was really excited, he had been wanting to try since we lost Francis, I still was 100% on board but seeing the two lines on a pregnancy test makes you so happy. I turned in to the crazy pregnant lady, immediately. If there was a guideline I was following it. I cut back my workouts, wore a heart rate monitor, took vitamins, napped with JT or just laid there if I was not tired. I wanted to make sure I wasn't over doing my body. I stopped running, I had been training for the Nashville half marathon but didn't want to risk anything so I just quit. Even though there is absolutely no guideline that suggest this, I told you I immediately turned into the crazy pregnant lady :). I had blood work done the first day I found out I was pregnant. Progesterone came back extremely high but hcg was low. The nurse told me the low hcg was nothing to worry about, I was early in my pregnancy. The progesterone was what held on to the baby during the first trimester and mine was "Olympic level." They ordered my blood work to be taken again the following Friday and I would see the dr on Monday. I met with the dr (my same dr I used with Francis) and he didn't like what he saw in my blood work so sent me back to the lab to have more blood work ran, by this time John Thomas started saying "ouchie" when we walked in the building :) Tuesday I waited all day for the results of my blood work. I finally got a call late afternoon from the nurse. My blood work did not come back the way they had hoped. My progesterone had fallen and my hcg was only doubling when it should be tripling. I cried, how am I suppose to handle this again?!? The nurse told me Dr Imbody believed I was having a tubal pregnancy. They made me an appointment for an ultrasound the following day. I was told they just wanted to make sure it was a tubal pregnancy and they would schedule a d&c. My husband was out of town, it was a tough night. Thankfully Tommy was able to come home to go to the dr's appointment the following day. We were both completely prepared not to see a baby or a heartbeat but God had different plans.
 We have a heartbeat!! And the baby is right where it is suppose to be!! Thank you, God!!!
Dr. Imbody told us he did not even know what to say, he did not expect to find this at all. I was started on medicine to try to increase the levels but we knew the baby was already behind developmental. I told Tommy I was going to concentrate on each day at a time. I was pregnant that day, my baby had a heartbeat and I was so so thankful. I stopped and bought cupcakes to celebrate our sweet blessing :)

Two weeks difference, my body responded fast to this pregnancy :)

The following day John Thomas and I packed up to go to Nashville for the Country Music Marathon. My dr had advised me not to run and just take it easy. My mom was planning on walking the "mini marathon" 2.6 miles so I joined her. A friend from Ohio rode with us down where we met some of my best friends from Alabama and my sister, mom and nephew. I will do another post about Nashville.
Sunday morning I woke up to find blood. I went and got my mom and sister, called the dr and started driving back to Ohio. My wonderful friend, Karen, drove the whole way back so I could relax. My dr told me a little blood was nothing to worry about and we would do an ultrasound the following day. I was hopeful, not much bleeding and no cramping. Tommy was out of town for the weekend (working) so I had our amazing babysitter come to our house as soon as we got home to play with John Thomas so I could rest.The following morning I woke up to more blood and cramping, later the ultrasound confirmed what I knew, we lost the baby. I was barely 8 weeks pregnant. How could this happen again?!
The following morning I woke up around 4am to horrible cramping. We got ready and I went to the hospital, where I was just 5 months ago, for another d&c. It has been tough. Generally I am just really sad. Sad when I see little babies only because I would love to have one, I want John Thomas to grow up with a sibling. Tommy reminded me that it not one or the other, just because someone else is pregnant doesn't mean I can't be. For some reason it just isn't meant to be, right now.
Francis taught me to be thankful for each day, you never know how long you have. I was thankful for each day I was pregnant. I am so thankful I was able to see that sweet heartbeat. Now I have two babies in heaven that I can't wait to hold one day.

I am meeting with my dr in two weeks to set up our plan from here. We will do blood work and make appointments with different dr's (infertility, etc) to hopefully get some answers.
For now I am trying to focus on my blessings. I have a happy, healthy 2 year old that is the light of my life. So thankful!! And a husband who loves me and stands beside me through all of this.

 and you have to laugh when you come downstairs to find this........